Monday Morning Flash - “Suggestive Language” by Big Ed Magusson

Today’s Flash comes from Big Ed Magusson and, honestly, I love this. It’s classic “Strangers in a Foreign Land” stuff. Enjoy.

*****

Suggestive Language

By Big Ed Magusson

“Come on England!” the paper headlines blared.  It was hard to avoid, even for us American tourists, as London turned red and white for the European football cup.

“It should be ‘Go England,’” I mused.

“Of course, then it would be soccer instead of football,” Sharon said.

“True.  And we’d be ‘watching our step on the subway’ instead of ‘minding the gap on the tube.’”

“It could be worse.  Remember when Art said ‘touch wood’ instead of ‘knock on wood’?”

“Heh, do I ever,” I replied.  “The look on your face was priceless!”

We walked past another newspaper stand awash in red and white.

“Maybe we should,” Sharon said with a devilish twinkle in her eyes.

“Should what?”

“’Come’ on England.”  The innuendo was impossible to miss.

“You’re kidding.”

“Nope.  Let’s find an alley and see what we can do.”

I rolled my eyes but she was already tugging me towards an unnamed side street.

“And what if we get caught?” I asked.

“We just tell them we don’t speak the language.”

Somehow I was sure my British friends would agree.

----

© 2010 All rights reserved.  More of Big Ed Magusson’s work can be found at www.besplace.com

e-Lust #14

photo courtesy of Lila

Welcome to e[lust] - Your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in e[lust] #14? Start with the rules, check out the schedule in the site’s sidebar and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Week’s Top Three Posts ~

Answers with an Agenda 1- Fisting - Once you’ve gotten started using two fingers for a bit, then it is time to build until four fingers are sliding in and out of the person, and you are on your way.

Gagged - I think it’s got to be a combination… fingers sliding into your cunt, a merciless tease of your clit, and yes, it’s going to have to be, lining my cock up with your ass.

Mine - I feel you stir beneath me as I create a rhythm, your breathing changing growing more shallow as you slip from sleep into arousal. My eyes lift to yours as you smile and try to move your arms and then freeze.

~ e[lust] Editress ~

Puppet Master - When I was right next to them and they still did not notice, I put my lips to his ear (loud music, you know) and whispered “Touch her boobs, I bet she’d like that” and I backed up a foot.

~ Featured Post (Lilly’s Pick) ~

Shaping Some Limits - “If you ever did that to me, I promise you would never see me again”.Those words were spoken to me this past weekend by my pet during one of our overnight dates. The subject was face slapping.

See also: Pleasurists #77 for all your sex toy review needs.

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Kink & Fetish

12 Licks of the Tawse
A Canvas for Pain
Best Friends
Fetish: What's Yours?
Needles and Cock Choking
One Couple's Journey into Kink, part 2
Pieces of Skin and Bone
Please hurt me unbearably, you fucking fucker!
Ssssh…
The Taskmaster's Whip

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

A (Short) Ode to Uncut Cocks
Compersive Vanillas?
How Fear can Lead to Understanding and Trust
I am not a rapist...
Mother's Day Gift
On threesomes
On Friendship
Playing Nice On The Swingset
Tyler and Holly Give Swing Clubs Another Chance
The Virgin in the Family/Do Not Enter
third person
Whacking For America

Erotic Writing

26 minutes
A Request For Help
Are you willing, Are You?
A Squirting Experience
All Dressed Up - The Party ....part 2
Beginning
Book Orgasm
Dhanurasana
Flesh for Fantasy
Filled
Getting Lost in the Forest
Guest Post: Truck
Go Habs Go Domme Style
hotel window
How Do I Find You Sexy?
I'll Be Waiting
Jim and Lisa
Keeping It In The Family
Mind the Gap
My Sluttiest Moment
My First Blowjob
Me, Myself & My Clit
Not Tonight Dear, I've Got A Headache (Part 2)
Pure, Unadulterated Desire
Predatory
rhythm
Something Different
slumber interruptis
therapy session #1
Wanton Wednesday- Fuck-toy
Wednesday Night Blues

Sex News, Interviews, Politics & Humor

A Wolf in Sheep's Clothing
Eden Fantasys Newbie Help Guide
What the fuck, EdenFantasys?
Workshops and More at the ALCC

Friday House Guest - “My Eureka Moment - The Importance of the Setting” by Betty Ann Harris

Today’s House Guest is Ms Betty-Ann Harris. I’m sure you’ll make her welcome.

*****

My first book in the Special Agent Series, Eureka Point, is a romantic suspense, in which the main character, a beautiful and successful Park Avenue interior designer, must assume a new identity and relocate to a somewhat desolate area far away. Eureka Point is an old Victorian seaport town on the rocky shores of the coast of Northern California. The setting is the opposite of New York, where the main character is from, and represents a new start for her. But the severe rocky coastline, with its cliffs and rough seas relates to the danger that still surrounds her. The setting adds a sense of mystery, suspense, and danger to my story.

The setting is so essential to my story that I don’t think I could write the same story with a different setting. One thing I do as a writer is spend a good deal of time describing the scene and scenery in order to draw the reader into the story.

A rather strange thing happened to me while I was writing this story. I decided on Northern California and just picked a name out of the air. I picked Eureka as the name of the town, but I also wanted to use a lighthouse on a point, so I decided on Eureka Point. When I was researching Northern California on a map, low and behold, there was a town on the coast named Eureka. Friends tell me they think I lived there in former life, or they think I’m psychic. Even though I’ve never been there, I feel such a strong connection to the area.

Several months ago I was at a store where my book, Eureka Point is being sold. The proprietor had just finished reading the book and she asked me when I had been to Northern California. I replied that I had never been there. She asked me how I knew about The Cliffside Inn, a restaurant I used in book. I explained that I had made up the name. And she replied, “Well, I was just there in the summer and had dinner there. We were on vacation and took a drive up the Pacific Coast Highway and stopped there. It was exactly as you described it in the book.” I got goosebumps!

Here's a peek at Eureka Point, the place and the book: 
Tour of Eureka Point

If you drive about one hundred miles up the Pacific Coast Highway from San Francisco, you'll come to the dramatically beautiful historic seaside town of Eureka, California. If you take Cliffside Drive Northwest from the town of Eureka, you'll see the Pacific Ocean on one side, and steep hills and cliffs on the other, which makes for a dramatic and breathtaking scene. Eventually you'll come to Eureka Point and the lighthouse. It is rumored that the ghosts of old sea captains whose ships were wrecked on the rocky shores, still roam the cliffsides. If you walk around the lighthouse grounds, the sound of the surf crashing onto the rocky shore can be almost deafening. Sometimes the sea spray will splash you, leaving the sticky residue of salt water on your skin. Venture out to the Point in the early evening so you can watch the sun plummet into the sea, and you'll sware that you hear a sizzle as the orange sun sinks into the water. Lovers often come to Eureka Point and share a passionate kiss in the moonlight as it shimmers on the water below. The scenery and surroundings are breathtaking. This is where the story in my book, Eureka Point, takes place. Go ahead, get swept away and visit Eureka Point today!

Book Review

"It will keep you on the edge of your seat as you see what will happen next." ~ Red Roses for Authors

Betty Ann Harris - Spellbinding romantic suspense

My website: http://www.bettyannharris.com

Find my books at  Red Rose Publishing, http://www.redrosepublishing.com

Feel my Audit!

I must apologise for the lack of a “Wednesday Words” post yesterday. I had scheduled in an excerpt from one of my own short stories, but as it turned out I simply didn’t have the time to put it together. The first three days of this week saw my annual audit of accounts, and within a UK law firm this is a very, very big deal.

We hold large sums of money on behalf of our clients for any number of reasons and because of that we are subject to a set of rules that govern how we handle that money as laid out by the Solicitors Regulation Authority and subject to tight government regulations regarding money laundering and serious organised crime. In fact, there is even a comprehensive list of people who, should they try to engage our services, we are obliged to inform the government of. And yes, Osama Bin Laden is on the list (like he’s ever going to want to buy a house in rural Northamptonshire).

As the financial manager, ensuring that the firm complies with all the rules and regulations is part of my job description, so I’ve spent three days running around the office and generally making sure the auditors have what they need, know what they need to know and are happy we’re playing by the rules.

But the audit is over now, so I’m expecting life to go back to some semblance of normality.

Possibly.

Monday Morning Flash - “One Brief Moment” by Christine London

Today’s Flash is a little different in the sense that it’s more of a poem than a story. It comes from Christine London and I hope you enjoy it.

*****

One Brief Moment
By Christine London

It’s so easy
To ignore
The dance of interlude
 
What happens in that brief moment
When pretense wears thin
And eyes meet
 
What happens in the midst of a crowd
In the center of ceremony
At the party of the year
 
Red carpets roll up
Camera’s flash fades
Worldly concerns vanish
 
For that one brief moment
There is connection
Realization
 
But then the drama
The allure of the spotlight
Yanks away what matters
 
And you return
To the present
And the demand of the night
 
In that one brief moment
More truth is spoken
Than all forty years before
 
In that one brief moment
There laid bare
The human heart
 
Tug of agent
Crash of industry
Intrusion of the ‘real’
 
And you are swept away
Into the needs of the many
But...
In that one brief moment
Your heart won

Six Sentence Sunday 23/04/2010 - “Lost & Found”

Trying to spread things about a bit, today’s six come from Lost & Found. I blogged on Thursday about how much I learned about the story’s antagonist, The Colonel, while writing some extra scenes from his point of view. This comes from one of those extra scenes.

“How do you know who he is anyway?”

“Because, Bobby, unlike you, I talk to our daughter and I listen too.”

The Colonel sighed and said, “I messed up again, didn’t I?”

“Damn right you did.” She adjusted her weight and brushed away some hair that had fallen into her face. “Look, Bobby, I don’t know who’s right about the kind of funeral Lance would have wanted, but what I do know is that the last thing he would have wanted is for the two of you to be fighting over it, so you need to sort this out.”

To read more #sixsunday posts hop on over to the blog.

It Seems More Real Now

Yesterday I received a copy of the cover that will adorn Eternally & Evermore on its release this summer. In fact, I also found out that the release itself is scheduled for August 9th. As you can see, the cover is, in a word, gorgeous.

Four e-books and I don’t know how many shorts at Ruthie’s in and the first sight of the cover of a new release (or story illustration in the case of Ruthie’s) still gives me a huge thrill. It makes the fact that your work is going to hit the e-shelves seem more real. It’s as if it’s the culmination of all the time you spent working on it. And so it’s also a bit scary. What if the cover’s no good? What if the artist didn’t ‘get’ what you told them? What if the cover models are just not… right?

I’ve been fortunate. I think there was only one illustration at Ruthie’s where I thought, “He’s got that wrong.” And it wasn’t as if it was a bad illustration - it wasn’t, it was very good -  he just had the wrong characters fucking in the wrong places. Admittedly, there were three couples fucking in that illustration, so we can let it slide. And it was still a great piece of artwork.

And I’ve loved, loved, loved all my Phaze book covers. Kissed by a Rose was so simple and elegant and it was that very simplicity that made it sexy as hell. Lost & Found brought together all of that story’s important elements and the girl on the cover of Charlotte’s Secret was just how I imagined Charlotte when writing the book.

But let’s talk about this new cover. I love it’s brightness and vibrancy. I think it really stands out. It doesn’t use the “Scriptina” font that I use on my website and is on the other book covers, but that’s okay. I think the font used for the title here looks much better than it would in “Scriptina.” I’ve had it on my website for a while now and it just looks… odd. It’s not a title that lends itself to that font. And I also think font used for my name (which I recognise but can’t think what it’s called) is very clear and bold. I like it.

The female model on the cover is just right and I adore her expression and the way she’s just touching his chin. He looks like the dominant one because he’s higher up than she is, but is she pulling him towards her or trying to keep him at bay? We can’t see if her eyes are the right shade of blue because they’re closed, but in my mind they are, so that’s okay.

I’ll be honest and say I’m sure about the male model being ‘right’ for Will. Will’s a professional and I don’t think he’d be that unshaven, regardless of how sexy stubble is (unless it’s on me – then I just look a mess). I also have always pictured him in a suit and tie. But I can live with it because, to be honest, I’m not actually looking at him – my eyes are drawn to her. And to those cliffs. What’s the significance of the cliffs? Oh, they are very, very significant. As are those rocks at the base. But you’ll have to read the book to find out why. Won’t you?

So, what do you think of the cover?

Friday House Guest - “Is Less Really More?” by Christine London

We’ve seen a lot of her this past week or so, but today’s House Guest is once again Christine London. She’s just got so much to say I had to give her two Friday House Guest slots. Look out for a Flash offering from Ms London on Monday too.

*****

I know it's not romance or even romantic, but its benefits will allow you to bring more romance into your life.

The recent passing of my father has left me feeling the need to re-evaluate/sort/purge and discover treasures unseen. I stumbled upon a book of serendipity.

"It's All Too Much" By Peter Walsh

An easy plan for living a richer life with less stuff

That tagline says it all.

SO I am going through eighty-six years of Dad's memories. Some include me, some before I was even imagined.

Come dream with me... I can almost hear him whisper. The fragments of news articles, the trophies of war, the certificates of appreciation and achievement, photos of people special in his youth; all these things kept in boxes stored out of sight and mind. How true it is that we are all guilty of covering over the bits and pieces of our lives to hide in the recesses of dusty garage or darkened attic.

It is not the few truly memorable things displayed proudly that are at fault. Rather it is the harsh awakening when we realize what’s been cluttering our rafters and closets may be more suffocating than liberating.

Do you own your stuff or does it own you?

Our possessions should not overrun our lives. The chaotic jumble clutter creates physically is reflected in our frustration and sense of being overwhelmed. If you haven’t used it, worn it or looked at it in a year, you probably don’t need it. This is the rule of thumb touted in the book. Of course there are those exceptions, such as holiday décor or that plumber’s wrench that is the only tool to fix the leaky pipe under the sink. For the most part though, one has to ask if the stuff that crowds our homes could better be used by someone else-- or tossed in the bin.

Your home is not only the physical, but the emotional base for you and your family. If you spend five minutes a day searching for your keys and can’t find the receipt to your laptop when it needs servicing, you’re not only adding frustration, you’re burning time that compounds. How much richer the life lived in peace and order? Once you achieve the inner peace that outer calm affords you can’t help but start to look at the way you spend your time. Has it been in acquiring stuff you don’t have time to use?

Cleaning and organizing a waste of time?? How about spending weeks of your time looking for your reading glasses?

All this made sense, especially now as I sort through the files and boxes of a life. Frame a few mementos, a precious representation of achievements and valour, struggles and success. Place on wall and shelf one or two reminders of the wonderful person who has moved on. Even these are tokens—keepsakes of a man whose memory could never be erased even if the house he loved were to burn down tomorrow with everything in it.

It’s just stuff and the stuff is not the memory.

Memory is something no time, change, rust, mildew, weather or act of God can disenfranchise.

May your path lead you to discover the wonders under your own roof. You can get rid of the things. Take a photo of that which you wish to muse over, but don't clutter your life and mind with objects. Those shoes you wore to prom are not the memory. Snap a digital of them and let them go.

When you have breathing room there's room for life. After all, there’s so much more good to tumble in...

like love, romance and the ability to write and read, dance and sing-- all that is really important. Enrich and declutter.

Thanks for the memories, Dad.

Christine London

www.christinelondon.com

Are the “Bad Guys” really All Bad?

For the past couple of days I’ve been looking back over some of my blog posts from as far back as 2007. Okay, so it’s not that far back, and for some reason my archive stops in July 2007 then restarts in January 2008 – I suspect I was only posting to MySpace then. Perhaps that a minor project for when I’m really bored – to import my blog entries between August and December 2007.

But anyway, I tweeted, buzzed and facebooked a few of the entries because, even now three years later, I found them to be an interesting read. One of them even prompted my post on Tuesday about casting film versions of my books.

One post, well, two actually, that struck me was to do with “hate mail” – or in this case a particular piece of correspondence regarding Reunion and one person’s reaction to it. The general position I took in the posts was that I prefer my characters to have depth and be multidimensional rather than one-dimensional. I like flawed heroes and damaged heroines. I love sympathetically evil villains that at the same time have you hating their guts yet understanding their pain, fears and maybe even feeling a little sorry for them.

In short, I don’t do stereotypes.

I guess this fits in with another post I found about the difference between erotic and porn. Porn is full of stereotypes, erotica isn’t. Or shouldn’t be.

Perhaps it’s a failing of mine as a writer, or perhaps it’s a strength, but I do spend an awful lot of time thinking about my characters. About what motivates them. About their past and how it affects the person they are at the time of the story. About how they would react in different circumstances.

And I spend as much time examining the antagonist and secondary characters as I do the hero and heroine.

The first time I really examined my antagonist closely was when Phaze picked up Lost & Found but asked me to make some changes before publication. The main changes centred around the antagonist, Beth’s father, Colonel Burnett – or simply The Colonel.

I was told that I’d made the Colonel too one-dimensional, that his motivations weren’t clear. In short, I’d done exactly what I strive not to, which came as a surprise to me because I knew what motivated The Colonel and I knew that he wasn’t one-dimensional. At least, I thought I did. What I hadn’t done was get this across in the story. So that was my aim – to give this important character some depth.

I’ve always tried to write from strictly one character’s point of view and in the case of Lost & Found it was from Chris, the hero’s viewpoint. But to really get under the skin of The Colonel and show the readers what I already knew about him, I figured I’d have to write some scenes from his viewpoint. Which is what I did. And in doing so I found that I didn’t really know The Colonel at all on a conscious level. Oh, he was there, in my sub-conscious, waiting to get out and explain himself, but writing those scenes really opened my eyes and really taught me a lot about the art of characterisation.

And it taught me that ‘the bad guy’ is just a point of view. In Lost & Found, The Colonel is ‘the bad guy’ because he’s the one hell bent on stopping the hero and heroine from being together. He’s irrational and stubborn – a domineering father who demands everything be his way.

But from his point of view, he’s not doing anything wrong. Far from it – he’s actually protecting his daughter and trying to hold on to the only child he has left now that he’s lost his son. And he’s not stubborn – he’s proud. And he’s not domineering, he’s living the same military life he’s always lived, even though he’s retired.

The more I wrote, the more I felt myself empathising with him – but when you read the book as a whole it’s clear he’s still the bad guy.

Which brings me to Eternally & Evermore. This book has the most obvious and clearly defined bad guy I’ve ever written. And yet, right from the start, I wanted to get the reader asking why John Nugent behaved the way he did. What drove him? And that’s because, come the finale, I wanted the reader sympathising with him just enough to add to the tension of the scene.

So early on, in the first section of the book when all the main characters are eighteen year olds, I made it clear that the hero, Will, and John had once been very good friends, but something drove them apart – something that none of their friends knew. So even though John is thoroughly unlikeable, you find your self asking if he’d always been like that – because Will couldn’t have been friends with him if he was, and what happened between him and Will to make them hate each other so much.

And when they meet again as adults, the animosity is still there, at least on John’s part, and you again find yourself asking why he still holds a grudge given that…. Opps, nearly gave away an important plot point there. John’s softer side is mentioned by some of the other characters, and in the end, when all is revealed, you can’t help but feel a little bit sorry for him. The man has suffered. More than any man should. It doesn’t excuse his behaviour or what he’s become, but it does make it understandable to a small extent.

At least, that’s how I’m hoping you feel when you read it. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see. Eternally & Evermore is released in the Summer. Lost & Found is available now.

Wednesday Words - “Soul in his Eyes” by Christine London

Today’s Words were due to come from Don Luis Da La Costa, but events beyond his control (his laptop went “kaboom”) has prevented that. Fortunately, Christine London, who was due to post her Words on the 9th of June, has stepped into the breach. Don’s Words will now appear in the slot originally slated for Chris.

Here’s the blurb for Soul in his Eyes by Christine London.

What would you do if suddenly, unexpectedly, a man entered your world…testing your attitudes, challenging your integrity, dislodging your emotional equilibrium and haunting your dreams with his eyes--- Not just any man, but Hollywood’s hottest Scottish actor?

Glasgow’s rough streets and the celebrity of Hollywood may seem light years apart, but when it comes to deliverance from the isolation inherent in both it is the unexpected that brings salvation to superstar Erik Bartholomew. Born and raised in a Glasgow working class suburb, hard drinking drop out of elite university programme, latecomer to acting, Hollywood’s hottest actor is having second thoughts about the invasive spotlight of fame.

A Los Angeles kindergarten teacher has never had cause to interact with Hollywood’s elite, much less consider the implications of a brush with fame until her quiet life is turned upside down by one chance encounter. What is the mysterious draw between such disparate people that is powerful enough to overcome distance and time? It is as if she can read his very soul through his eyes.

Fascinated by her pointed questions and almost magical ability to see into the depths of him, Erik reaches out to Christine in curiosity and attraction.

Is the gap between ordinary and mega stardom insurmountable?

Become a part of their world

Soul In His Eyes

By Christine London

Available NOW from Phaze Books

*****

And here is an excerpt from the book…

"Jacob Brice beware!" the black cloaked man rasped in rage as he leapt from the roof, landing hard on the stone steps of the mausoleum. The impact forced him nearly to his knees into a crouch. The sword in his hand struck the cast iron fence on the way down with a harsh metallic clank. Quickly dislodging it, he swung about to face his opponent. With the fury of betrayal in his eyes he lifted the blade up and around his head, striking the sword of the man before him with such force that it sent him reeling backwards. The opponent stumbled off the steps and down onto the ground, landing on his back. With his sword miraculously still in hand, the opponent scrambled to regain his footing.

His cloak swirled like thick black smoke behind him as he jumped down to carry on his attack.

Stand if you be a man." Jerad growled, regaining his balance.

"You are insane!" Jacob countered as he sprang to his feet.

Jerad lunged at him, teeth clenched in anger and exertion. Jacob countered. They fought blow for blow across the uneven terrain of the graveyard. Jacob caught his boot on the edge of a stone pathway, falling again to the ground, this time losing his grip on his weapon. It flew, landing at a distance in the dirt.

"Damn it", he cursed as the director shouted, "CUT."

Erik lowered his sword and strode over to see if his colleague was all right. Reaching down, he extended his arm to James, the actor playing his nemesis. "I don't think Jacob would have allowed such a faux paux," Erik jested as he helped James to his feet. "Are you all right, mate?" he asked.
"Yeah…just bloody clumsy. You're right. My character would never have lost his sword. Too much the classic protagonist."

"Right, boys. Shall we try that again?" Geoff boomed from his chair behind the camera. He rose and walked over to his two male leads. "That looked brilliant…well up until your little stumble, James. Just recreate what you did before that and it will be a print." The two actors were still breathing deeply from the exertion of the fight. Geoff looked at the expression on both of their faces and added, "Yeah, yeah…I know the bloody swords are heavy and it's difficult. All those hours in the gym do pay off, though." He gave them a wink and turned back toward his chair.
James and Erik looked at each other, resignation on their faces. Erik swept his cloak up over his arm and walked back toward the mausoleum. The inevitable make-up girl met him. She began touching up his face and hair like a cleaner fish swirling around a shark."Sorry for the sweat, my dear. Occupational hazard." He looked at her, reached for a bit of lint on her cheek and brushed it away with his thumb.

She blushed. "Mr. Bartholomew, if you aren't the cheeky one."

"Turn about is fair play," he quipped.

"All right, gentlemen. Let's get this done properly. Take your places, please," Geoff ordered. As Erik climbed atop the mausoleum, he smiled to himself. This shoot was a dream come true. It would most likely put his name on the actors "A" list. More importantly, he was having the time of his life.

*****

Christine London was born in Chicago, Illinois, but left the long winters of the Midwest as a child to find her roots in the sun and charm of California, both North and South. Her adopted home became Great Britain when she spent a year of college in the east end of London with three male flat mates; one from each country on the main island. Her fascination and love affair with all things British has grown over the years, facilitated by summers spent trading houses.

Graduating from Loyola Marymount University in Los Angeles, Chris continued with family, teaching, singing in a jazz sextet and running foot races (and winning) before discovering her true passion….the romance and adventure of writing.

It took one Scot to awaken her poetic appreciation of Scotland's natural beauty, and another Scot to ignite her passion for writing. Thank you, gentlemen.

Visit my website at www.christinelondon .com for the latest!

Come tweet! http://twitter.com/ChristineLondon

The Cast List

I recently added a “You Might Also Like” widget to this blog and it threw up this post from a couple of years ago. It’s about who I’d cast as the mains characters in the film versions of my books (assuming I could get big name stars to hardcore sex scenes). The books covered were Charlotte’s Secret, Lost & Found, and Reunion. I thought it might be cool to do it again with my two most recent books, namely Kissed by a Rose and Eternally & Evermore.

 Kissed by a Rose

This is a tough one due to the age of the characters, who are mostly in their late teens / early twenties. But here goes.

Adam (The Hero) – Young, British, intelligent, etc… He’s good looking, but not a ‘beefcake’. And he has too ooze intelligence and charm but bit a little bit geeky. There’s only really one choice I suppose and that’s Mr Harry Potter himself, Daniel Radcliffe.

Chloe (The Heroine) – This is really, really hard. Chloe is described as “the best British actress of her generation” and as having “feminine curves” rather than being “stick thin”. So on the shape issue, you’d have to rule out the likes of Kiera Knightly (as much as I hate to) and Emma Watson. I guess what I’m really after here is a nineteen year old version of Kate Winslet – unless Ms Winslet could pull off playing a nineteen year old herself. She’d have to dye those blonde locks though, Chloe’s a Brunette.

Eddie (Adam’s Roommate) – Cassie describes Eddie at one point as “a bit more rugged” than Adam. He’s also not the sharpest tool in the box. This is almost impossible for me, so I’m going to cop out and cast anyone of the male cast members of British teen-soap, Hollyoaks.

Cassie (Adam’s other Roommate) – This is a role I’d like to see Emma Watson take on – just to see if she can play someone who’s about as different from Hermione as it’s possible for a character to be.

Kim (The Other Woman, sort of) – Here’s a problem – Kim is described as being almost Chloe’s double in appearance – although her character couldn’t be more different. Think Ms Winslet could pull a double shift? Through the magic of computer whatnotary, they could even appear on the screen at the same time (the same computer whatnotary that makes her look like a nineteen year old). Or do we have any other suggestions?

There are other characters I should really cast too, like Sam Bradwell and the Hollywood agent, Hilda, but I think these five are the most important.

Eternally & Evermore

I’ve said before that Eternally & Evermore started out as a rewrite of Reunion, but morphed into something completely different. This is particularly true of the characters and the cast I picked for the older story is no longer appropriate. So here’s my pick for the newer story.

Will (The Hero) – Could actually be played by two actors, one as a teenager and one as a thirty-eight year old, (The same could be said for all these except Jeremy) but I’m casting the adults here. Will is bald (ish) but handsome, but what we need in the actor is the ability to project intelligence & confidence. The audience have to trust him. I know he’s a Scot, but we’ve seen in Doctor Who what a good estuary accent he does, so I’d like to see David Tennant in this role – although he’d need a drastic haircut.

Amy (The Heroine) - “A little too thin” is how Will describes her to himself when they meet again after twenty years apart. Amy has had a tough life and this role would be challenging for any actress. We’d need to see her brimming with confidence at times, and very, very vulnerable (almost needy) at others. There is probably only one British actress who’s ‘a bit too thin’ that’s anywhere near talented enough for this role – and I know you’re going to say I’m biased here – Ms Kiera Knightly. She’d need to get the bleach out though, cause Amy’s blonde.

Jeremy (Will’s friend) – Very English. Intelligent. A bit posh. Mid-to-late twenties. Sound like any actor that’s recently taken over the most coveted role on British television? Stand up and take the part please Matt Smith. You’ll even get to drive an Audi R8 at high speed through the English countryside.

Lizzie (Will & Amy’s friend) – Lizzie is fun & flirty, but also Amy’s trusted confidant and is serious about her friend’s welfare. Don’t ask me why, cause I don’t have a answer for you, but I see the lovely Minnie Driver in this role.

John (The bad guy) – I don’t do stereotypes and I like my villains to be a little bit more interesting that just the evil guy who gets in the hero & heroine’s way. John is exactly that. You need to believe he’s a complete and utter bastard, but you also have to understand his motivations, feel his pain and, maybe, even feel a little bit sorry for him. That’s why I’d cast Daniel Craig. He’s done such a good job of actually making Bond seem like a real human being that I can see him doing great things with the role of John Nugent. Plus, it’s easy to believe that Mr Craig would kill you as soon as look at you, which helps when playing a villain who… Opps, nearly gave away a plot point there.

So there we have it – my fantasy cast for two films that will most likely never get made. But it was a fun exercise to do. If you’ve read Kissed by a Rose, do you agree with my casting? Unless you are one of three very special people (one of whom is my publisher), you won’t have read Eternally & Evermore yet as it’s not out, but what do you think of my cast? Good, huh?

Monday Morning Flash - “Mind the Gap”

This little piece was inspired by a late night train rife I took with an old girlfriend many years ago. Enjoy.

*****

Mind the Gap

(292 words)

Amy and I met friends for an Indian meal last Saturday, our first night out since we got back from honeymoon. We took the underground so we could enjoy a drink—Amy enjoys a fruity Pinot Gris.

By the time the food arrived, Amy had polished off half a bottle and was getting as fruity as the wine. She rubbed my bulging cock through my jeans and wasn’t subtle about it, either. Our friends must have guessed what she was up to.

We caught the 23:27 home—a deserted, rickety old train. The high-backed seats provided plenty of privacy. As soon as we sat down, Amy kissed me hard, shoving her tongue into my mouth. I mauled her beautiful tits through her blouse and slipped a hand up her skirt to finger her pussy. She was dripping wet and smelled ripe.

She struggled to unbutton my fly, took out my cock, and wanked it. As the train slowed and pulled into a station, I lay my jacket over my crotch. Amy kept her hand movements small until the train jerked back to life. She leaned over, ducked under my jacket, and swallowed my cock. I was doing my best on her pussy, but found it hard to concentrate.

Amy was past caring when the train next stopped. So was I, come to think of it. I stifled a cry and filled her mouth before the train started moving again. She swallowed almost every drop. Amy lifted her head from my lap, looked me in the eye, and smiled. She wiped a drop of semen from the corner of her mouth.

There was a wicked look in her eye as she sucked her finger clean. “Hmm, saltier than usual. Must have been the curry.”

Six Sentence Sunday 16/05/2010 - “Eternally & Evermore”

It’s Six Sentence Sunday time again and it’s back to this summer’s release “Eternally & Evermore”. Today is a little different though – the definition of “Teaser”. This verse is read by Will on a very significant gravestone. The picture to the right is irrelevant – I just like it.

*****

Beloved son

Stolen from this life before he’d had a chance to live it

Our Wonderful Son taken Too Soon,

We See Your Face wherever Flowers Bloom

The Light of Our Life Our Pride and Joy,

We’ll Miss You Liam Our Beautiful Boy

*****

For other #sixsunday posts, visit the Six Sunday blog

e-lust #13

photo courtesy of Ms Scarlett

Welcome to e[lust] - Your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in e[lust] #14? Start with the rules, check out the schedule in the site’s sidebar and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Week’s Top Three Posts ~

Stuck - Since I first saw the picture he sent me I have had this visual stuck in my head, like a sweet thing lingering in the mouth.... wrists bound, tied to headboard--ankles bound, tied to baseboard-- naked, exposed

Animalistic - I grabbed the back of your ponytail like I owned you. No protest. Only a moan. Fuck, how aroused were you? Even your kiss was desperate, wet, passionate; your body was on fire and it showed.

A Hot Afternoon - She took Grady's hand and guided it between her legs. Grady's instinct kicked in as soon as she touched Hatty's tender clit and felt the wetness gathered there.

~ e[lust] Editress ~

Confessional: Fixation/Addiction - In porn, both video and photo, I have little interest in the men. It’s the women who get my full attention, who arouse me. I seek them out. I flick past hetero couplings, bored. Blow jobs? Meh. Oh wait, close-up of her pussy? Her coming? Ok I’ll watch now.

~ Featured Post (Lilly’s Pick) ~

Thanks for the mansplanation, but I greatly prefer my vibrator - His views on female masturbation (derived, clearly, from absolutely nothing legitimate) are so fucked up, so irritating, and so detrimental, that I want to punch him in the face. It is, truly, mansplaining at its finest.

See also: Pleasurists #75 and #76 for all your sex toy review needs.

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

A Pondering
An I thought us girls were supposed to be the confusing sex?
I get ragingly horny watching gay porn
Menopausal Body
Over-Rated
Snotty Blowjob
The Ethical Slut
What counts as kinky?
What Is Romance
Why We Swing

Sex News, Interviews, Politics and Humor

Strip Club Series - Part One - Club Super Sexe

Kink & Fetish

An Anal Fairy Tale
How I Turned My (Ex)Husband Into a Pervert Pt.1
In Her Place
Kinky
Love that Thang He Does
On Productivity, Insanity and Grilled Cheese Sandwiches
Rights and Responsibilities
Shoe shopping
Show Me Your Teeth
The Greek Slave
Voice

Erotic Writing

A Recurring Fantasy
almost
Awakenings
A Helping Hand
Bite me
challenge
des fumes
Exposed
Frankie Says Swallow
For your prompt review
Gardening
Glass Elevators
Haze
In The Boardroom With Brock
Microfantasy Monday, week 77: Rain, part 2
Monday Morning Flash - "Homebaking"
One of the Hottest Moments I Had as a Prostitute
Seven
the feast
Unexpected Pleasures
Used
Wet

Friday House Guest – Christine London at the RT Cover Model Photo Shoot

Today’s House Guest is Christine London. I know you’ll make her welcome.

*****

I have to admit to a bias where photography, book cover shoots in particular is concerned. Having dabbled in cobbling a cover or two of my own, I have gained great respect for the hard work of the models and photographers that produce such beautiful work.
Saturday at the RT Booklovers convention brought a much-anticipated treat---the welcome of industry professionals and readers into the world of a romance novel cover shoot. Sets carefully assembled, lights mounted, photographer clutching expensive Nikon equipment, lucky attendees buzzed with excitement as the host of the shoot welcomed us.
Internationally renowned model, Jimmy Thomas (www.jimmythomas.com) moved effortlessly through pose after pose, change of costume accomplished in the blink of an eye (and largely in view of the rapt audience) Mr. Thomas charmed his way in a graceful ballet that included numerous emotions. Whether a cowboy, a regal regency gentleman or between creamy satin sheets, Jimmy made what is not easy, look it. Spinning a spell of romance and sensuality that seemed to raise the temperature in the room twenty degrees, Mr. Thomas moved about each female model with poise and smoldering masculinity.
To be a really great cover model one must not only appear to make love to his partner, but the camera as well. A consummate professional, Mr. Thomas captured the definition of being 'top of his game' all whilst adding absorbing commentary, casually adjusting a prop or an errant strand of hair.
After the final scene was shot, the three model participants stayed to answer questions.
Methods of lighting, posture and matters or professional concern were all discussed. Ever the generous spirit, Mr. Thomas even conveyed warning to aspiring models to beware of contract specifics; to not sell them short by allowing their personal images to fall into unsavory use.
The man himself tells me that we can expect further surprises at next year’s RT Convention. The mind does dance in imaginings of what that might be….
Thank you Jimmy for being so kind as to share an area of the business few have opportunity to experience.

Christine London
Author of Romance With a Twist
Visit my website at www.christinelondon .com for the latest!
Come tweet! http://twitter.com/ChristineLondon

Wednesday Words – “Verasheyan” by J. Trout

This week’s excerpt comes from J. Trout. Verasheyan, published by Phaze Books is, if you please, a Science-Fiction/BDSM/Romance novel, which isn't something one comes across every day. Among other things, it includes a short course on the psychological and physical causes of BDSM, from which this excerpt is taken. Most Psychology courses aren’t anything like this.

In Verasheyan, Reshayn, a beautiful hermaphroditic alien, has been captured by the police who want information from him… her… it… (the novel actually uses the pronoun ke) about his… her… its… boss, a rich crime-lord. Unsure of how to get the information, the police captain, Blaie, hands the alien over to a BDSM expert named Master Zane. But Zane’s assistant, Nell, falls for Reshayn.

Along with the erotica and the BDSM techniques, there’s some interesting background on Reshayn's alien culture and Nell's psychology. In fact, the novel is as much character-study as it is erotic-adventure story, getting deeply inside the heads of the four characters. Altogether, it's a fast, hot, thought-provoking read. Enjoy this excerpt.

You can purchase Verasheyan from the Phaze website or from your favourite e-book store.

**********

Zane poked the touch-pad again, and the scene shifted to the inside of another room, this one designed to resemble a classic medieval dungeon. In its center a naked young man, also gagged, lay on his belly across a tall sturdy stool. His arms and legs were artfully bound to its legs, and his visible erection swung free under the edge of the seat. An athletic woman dressed in leather harness, a classic cat-o-nine-tails hanging at her belt, was slowly, lovingly, pressing on the end of a studded vibrator that had more than half disappeared between the ‘victim’s’ buttocks. The man was jigging frantically on the stool, escaping nothing, and his eyes were wide. The sound was off, but he was obviously screaming.

Blair went pale as he watched, but didn’t pull his eyes away from the screen.

“Let’s have a closer look, shall we?” Master Zane manipulated the touch-plate again. “This is the interior.”

The screen promptly showed a colorized version of a fluoroscope view, a close-up of the stretched rectum with the solid-dark implement crawling through it slowly. The whole scene bounced and jiggled, and a light-red area under the vibrator changed color, growing brighter.

“That’s the nerve center,” Zane said, pointing. “And, as you can see, it is definitely being stimulated. Mistress Anne will have to proceed carefully to keep the subject from climaxing before maximum stimulation is achieved.”

“M-maximum…?” Blair mumbled, unable to pull his gaze away.

“Sensory overload. The breaking-point. The idea is to keep the subject hovering there, and in an orgasmic or near-orgasmic state, for as long as possible.”

Blair said nothing, but Zane noticed that he bit his lip.

“Simple pain is not sufficient,” Master Zane said, working the touch-pad, “To reach the particular kind of sensory overload we want. Simple brute pain will destroy tissue, and nerve sensitivity with it. It will cause the subject to faint, or at most to promise anything for relief – but will leave the mind still intact enough to think of believable lies or some other form of resistance. No, for the sort of complete surrender we want, the pain must be mixed with irresistible pleasure. Look.”

He pointed to the screen, which now showed a plain room in which stood two tall, sturdy, upright posts. Between them, spread-eagled by wrist and ankle cuffs clipped to rings on the posts, stood a young man – naked, except for a blindfold. A muscular middle-aged man dressed in black was lashing at his back, buttocks and thighs with a slender-tailed multiple-thonged whip. The younger man’s back already sported multiple pink stripes where the lashes had struck.

Blair leaned closer, peering intently at the screen.

“Those tails are narrow thongs of moderately-soft leather,” Zane explained. “A blow with them will sting noticeably, the stinging sensation will soon change to an intense itching that lasts for several minutes, and of course the blow will bring blood to the surface of the skin, as you can see.”

“…Uhuh…” said Blair, staring.

“Now, when you bring blood to the surface of the skin, you make it more sensitive. This can be— Ah, there. See what he’s doing.”

The man had tossed the whip down, somewhere off-camera, and had picked up a long fluffy feather. Carefully as an artist drawing a sketch, he drew the tip of the feather down the youth’s back, then across his buttocks, and then jiggled it lightly over the backs of his thighs.

The effect on the young man was remarkable. He stood rigid at first, then began to squirm, then writhed furiously.

“Tickling!” Blair gulped. “He’s tickling him!”

“No ordinary tickling, with his skin that sensitive.” Master Zane reached for the touch-pad again. “Now let’s look at the biochemical factors...”

Monday Morning Flash - “Hot Cream Desire” by Cassie Exline

Today’s Flash is once again from Cassie Exline. She wrote this story for a contest at “Coffee Time Erotica”, so as you might have guessed from the pic, it’s about coffee. Well, not strictly about coffee, it’s just got coffee in it. Sort of. Enjoy.

**********

Hot Cream Desire By Cassie Exline

(466 Words)

Every Wednesday afternoon at two o'clock, Robin sat in Norma's Coffee Shop enjoying a cup of coffee and doing a crossword puzzle while trying not to stare at the handsome dark-haired Luke who sat at the corner table not far from the ladies restroom.

She fantasized Luke naked in bed. Desire seared her body every time their eyes met. Inevitably Robin creamed her panties before her cup was empty or her crossword completed.

Robin always made several trips to the ladies room. When she passed his table, they would nod and smile.

This Wednesday Robin dressed to kill. A short skirt, a top with a plunging neckline, and stilettos. No panties. She made four trips to the restroom and three times had been asked out by other men.

Ready for another trip, Robin stood and smoothed her skirt. Her hips swayed when she passed Luke’s table. She was fixing her hair in the bathroom mirror when the door opened. Luke entered and locked the door. He reached for her and slammed her against the wall. He shoved her arms above her head. His hungry mouth feasted on hers. They kissed, their tongues licking and sucking, while their bodies pressed hard together.

One of his hands slipped under her top and cupped one of her silk covered breasts. His other hand moved down her back and squeezed her bottom. He brought her left leg up. His fingers pushed under her skirt.

She caressed his face, kissed his lips, his cheeks. Her fingers twined his hair while his fingers explored the moist furrow of her pussy.

He broke their kiss to nibble her earlobe, down her neck. His mouth crushed hers as he ripped off her blouse and deftly removed her bra. He sucked her nipples. His teeth raked the hard nubbins. She moaned.

He whirled her around. His hands slid down across her bottom, down her thighs and yanked her skirt above her waist. He tugged her curlies and rubbed her mons.

She heard the snick of his zipper, bent over, and braced herself against the sink. He widened her legs, poised his cock at her cunt, and rammed so deep she orgasmed. His thrusts steadied and intensified. He fucked her hard and fast. His orgasm triggered another for her. His hot panting breath washed over her.

“Oh, Luke. Luke,” she whispered.

He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her neck.

His hot cream trickled down her leg. She turned and sucked his tongue into her mouth. He set her on the sink. She wrapped her legs around him. He fingered her to another orgasm.

She was still breathing hard when she heard knocking at the bathroom door. “Robin! Your break is over. We need fresh coffee made.”

“Just a minute, Norma!”

“Newlyweds!” Norma stomped away.

Six Sentence Sunday 09/05/10 - “Kissed by a Rose” – Now in Print!

Today’s six sentences come from “Kissed by a Rose”, which is now available in print from Phaze books, priced at $12.95 (or about £8.75-ish).

*****

“Perhaps you’d be warmer if you were wearing something else.”

“Don’t you like it, I brought it for you?” She closed the door behind him and did a twirl.

“So this is my birthday present?”

“Part of it, the second part is in the lounge.”

Adam had no idea what to expect, but he certainly wasn’t expecting what awaited him.

*****

For other #sixsunday posts, visit the Six Sunday blog.

Friday House Guest - “Confessions of a Recovering Pantser” by Misty Malone

Today’s House Guest is fellow Phaze author Misty Malone. Over to you Misty.

*****

Come closer and I’ll tell you a secret.

Closer.

Just a bit more.

There you go.  Okay, so here’s my deep dark confession: Until last year, I’d never written an outline in my life.

I’ll wait for you to recover.

Yup, I was a pantser, just winging it from chapter to chapter, a concept of plot in my head but no clear direction on where I was going or how I would get there.

Everything changed in April 2009 at the Romantic Times Conference.  I pitched a fantasy series, two of which were finished, a third only a concept in my head.  The agent I spoke with loved the concept and wanted to see the completed manuscripts… plus a treatment for the third book.

Treatment?  As in pedicure, manicure, and facial?

Nope.  As is a chapter-by-chapter breakdown of the important plot points in a novel.  A lot of research went into learning what a treatment was, I’ll tell you.  Turns out, they’re a tool used in the film industry when scriptwriters pitch their story ideas to movie studios.  Rather than reading a 500-plus screenplay, studio directors request a three to four page summary, breaking down the main plot points by scene.  Seems the publishing industry has adopted this technique, too.

So there I was with not a word written for the third book.  Where to start?  Chapter one, of course.  Four sentences, introducing the character—not by physical traits—but by what he does, by what is At Risk for him in the novel, by what his major goals and major obstacles are.

Chapter two follows the same formula, but also advances the story of the plot.  What changes in this chapter?  Do these changes help or hurt the main character’s plot goal?  What decisions is he forced to make as a result?  By planning out these chapters side-by-side, you ensure each one has movement and plot elements that will either help or hinder your characters during the course of the novel.

Another unexpected perk came when I gave the treatment to my critique group.  I was just hoping for overall impressions.  Instead, I got questions about character motivations, realism issues, and continuity concerns.  In other words: plot holes.  But this was great!  Critters pointing out my plot holes before I even penned Word #1! 

Imagine how much work that saved me during the writing and editing process.  No wasted scenes that should never see the light of day because they didn’t do anything to move the story forward.  A cohesive plot with no dropped threads or gaping holes.  In short, the treatment became my ultimate writing tool.

Now, that’s not to say the treatment is written in stone.  And here’s something the pantsers among you will love—things can, and will, change the further you get into the novel.  For example, in the book I’m working on now, I decided to completely change the transition into the climactic scene of the book because of something I learned about my villain that the treatment couldn’t tell me.

And when it came time to write the synopsis, my work was almost already done for me!  All I had to do was refer back to the treatment—which blueprints those plot points agents and editors want to read about in your synopses—and just check those chapter notes against what ended up in the final product.

So, here I stand, a recovering pantser.  Not to say I won’t dip back into that mindset for a short story once in a while, but I’m converted.  I’ve written treatments for four novels now, and the feeling of cohesiveness and closure is there in a way they weren’t before.  If you’ve never dared a treatment before, go ahead.  I won’t tell.  It’ll be our little secret.

Bio for Misty Malone: www.MistyMalone.com

A new voice in town, Misty hails from the Big Apple itself.  A Taurus with a penchant for angsty romances gone wrong and good ol' fashioned epic fantasy, Misty writes male/male romantic erotica.  Her short stories can be found at Ravenous Romance, and her longer works at www.Phaze.com, including Dead Men Get No Tail, and her forthcoming historical fiction, The Consort.

Check out the book trailer for Dead Men Get No Tail online at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TTg_IZCRy7k.

Happy reading!

Thursday Thoughts – Election Night

So, here we are. The Big Day. #GE2010. Those of you outside these green and pleasant lands might not know there’s an election on and today is the day that Brits go to the polls, stick their cross in a box (could that sound any more dirty? Or is it just me) and pick a new government.

Possibly.

The thing is that this year, more than any other year for a long time, the prospect of a hung (or if you’re from the SNP or Plaid, a ‘balanced’) parliament looms over this election like a giant black rain cloud. Now, I accept that in some other countries, notably Germany, a hung parliament/coalition government works. But there are as many countries where it doesn’t. Italy and Israel anyone? It almost seems like they have to elect a government every other year because the current coalition has collapsed. And British history shows that the country has made its biggest strides when it has had a strong government with a healthy majority.

I suppose, given that I know many of the readers of this blog are from outside of the UK, I better just explain how the election of a government here works. Firstly, we elect members to the House of Commons only, not the House of Lords (the upper chamber). Secondly, we don’t actually elect a Prime Minister, we elect a Member to represent the local constituency using a ‘first past the post’ system. This of course, is what calls for the likes of the Liberal Democrats, Greens et al to claim the system is so unfair. First Past the Post tends to elect a Member from one of the two main parties, Labour and Conservative, with a smattering of LibDems that in no way reflects the national share of the vote.

The system is also biased towards the Labour Party. They need a lower overall national share of the vote to win a majority than the other parties because their core vote tends to be concentrated in large inner-cities where there is also a greater concentration of seats available. There are 650 seats in the House of Commons and each seat is supposed to represent roughly the same number of people living in each constituency, so because population density is greater in inner-cities, that’s why there are more seats in inner-cities too.

Is this system unfair like the LibDems and others claim? Yes. Without question. According to the BBC ‘seat' calculator’ if the current opinion poll numbers (don’t get me started about opinion polls) are accurate (they won’t be, they have a 3% margin of error either way so a 6% lead for one party could in fact be a 12% lead and still be within the MoE. Crazy) then Labour could end up with 42% of the seats for only 29% of the national vote, Tory’s would have the same 42% with 35% of the vote and the poor old LibDems would suffer only 12% of the seats for 26% of the vote – half of what they ‘deserve’.

Of course, all this is based on what’s happened in previous elections and I really do think we’re in for a shock of 1992 proportions or bigger when the results come out overnight. (For those that don’t know, the exit polls in 92 announced after the election closed predicted a Labour win for Neil Kinnock but were very, very wrong, with John Major’s Tories clinging to power)

But here’s the thing, the system as it is works. Look back at the last time we had a hung parliament in the UK. The election of February 1974 resulted in a Lib/Lab government under Harold Wilson that lasted until just October of that very same year.

Now compare that with the governments since that have commanded large majorities in the House of Commons – notably those of Margaret Thatcher and Tony Blair, both of which had massive influence and changed the country radically.

Thatcher is without question the most divisive leader of the UK ever – with the possible exception of Oliver Cromwell who was, after all, responsible for the Civil War. But love her or loath her (and there is no in between, on one who lived under Thatcher can be described as being ambivalent towards her) there is no doubt that the Britain she left behind when forced from office by her own party was a totally different one from the one she inherited.

And while Tony was perhaps not quite as radical as Thatcher, he still oversaw massive changes in the way the country is run and the outlook of its people.

So I’m hoping that tonight we don’t end up with a ‘balanced’ parliament. I’m hoping there will be a clear and decisive victor. But I’m also hoping the result will shake things up a bit. I’m hoping that the electorate stick two fingers up to the media and pollsters who seem to have spent this past month telling us what a great political story it would be if there was a hung parliament. Yes, the media don’t really care who wins as long as they do, and they win by being able to stretch the story out for as long as possible.

I think tonight will be interesting. It may even be as dramatic as 1997. Who knows? It will, as they say, all become clear in the morning.

Wednesday Words - “Eternally & Evermore”

Yes, I’ve reserved this week for myself. It’s my blog, what you going to do about it? There’ll be more guests next week, but for now I’m serving up a tasty helping of Eternally & Evermore.

In this scene, which follows on from this week’s Six Sentence Sunday, Amy had instructed Will to arrive at her house prepared for the what they’ve got planned. Enjoy.

*****

Come Prepared, she’d said. And Will knew that she meant one thing—condoms. He’d never bought any before and wasn’t exactly looking forward to it. He considered asking his dad if he had any, but only for a second before he thought better of it. And even though he knew that Bobby would give him one, he couldn’t ask him. If he did, then Bobby would know what he and Amy were planning and while Bobby wouldn’t spread rumours maliciously, he couldn’t be trusted not to say the wrong thing to the wrong person at the wrong time without realising it.

So there was nothing else for it. After he’d walked Amy home that evening, he called into the all-night store by the park. It was late and the other shops were closed, but Pattel’s was always open. Run by an Asian family, the store sold all the basics that one might want in a hurry—bread, milk, booze, a small selection of groceries, sweets, tobacco, newspapers, magazines and, of course, condoms.

There wasn’t anyone hanging around outside the shops—He had been worried he’d bump into John Nugent and his gang but they seemed to have found a new hangout in recent weeks. He walked in and thanked his lucky stars that Mr Pattel was behind the counter. He wasn’t sure he would have been able to go through with it had it been Mrs Pattel—or worse, their stunning daughter, Neesha, who’d been two years ahead of Will at school and worked part-time in the shop as she went through university. The Pattels kept certain products behind the counter. Cigarettes obviously, that was the law, but also the stronger booze like the spirits and fortified wines, medicines like cough mixture and paracetamol tables and, of course, the condoms.

Will browsed the shop, aware that Mr Pattel was watching him. The shopkeeper had had bad experiences of some of Will’s peers—John Nugent in particular. He didn’t want to walk up to the counter and just order condoms. It had to be a throw-away line. He wanted it to look as if he’d gone into the shop for something else, and might as well get some condoms while he was there.

He settled on a magazine he regularly bought, some chocolate and a bottle of white wine, which he thought he could take to Amy’s with him tomorrow.

“ID?” Mr Pattel said when Will put the wine on the counter. Will got out his wallet and flashed his provisional driving licence, which he’d taken to carrying around with him ever since he’d turned eighteen and been legally old enough to buy alcohol, even though Mr and Mrs Pattel were the only ones who ever asked to see it. Mr Pattel nodded and rung up the items on the till.

“Five pounds fifteen, please.”

“Oh, and some condoms as well.” He mumbled the word.

“Some what? Sorry, I didn’t catch that.”

“Somecondomsaswellplease,” he said in one breath.

Mr Pattel shook his head. “Sorry, still didn’t get it.” Will wondered if the man was doing deliberately now. Making him suffer.

Will took a deep breath. “Could I, please,” he said, “have a packet of condoms as well?”

“Of course, young man. A pack of three, twelve or eighteen?”

Will shook his head. “Just three for now.”

Mr Pattel turned around, took something from one of the shelves behind him and then turned back to Will. He held out two packets. “Ribbed, or featherlight?”

Will looked him square in the eye. “Which would you recommend?” he said with a smile.

Mr Pattel laughed and put the featherlight pack back. “First time?”

Will nodded. “Can you tell?”

“Trust me, she’ll like these. Six seventy-five altogether.”

Will found the coins out of his wallet while Mr Pattel put the items into a brown bag. “Good luck. And have fun.”

April Keywords – WTF??

I’ve done posts before focusing on the keyword searches that bring people to my website and their utter absurdity. April was no different. Forty five different key phrases resulted in people clicking on links to my site. Which isn’t bad really. Until you break down what those searched phrases are.

Obviously the top phrases were “Marc Nobbs”, “marcnobbs.com”, “marcnobbs” and “Mark Nobbs”. “Ruthie’s Club” bought in a number of hits too as did various ‘erotica’ and ‘erotic romance’ related phrases. But it’s the ‘one off’ phrases that are always the most interesting. The ones that make you stop and think “WTF????” Here are some of the best for April.

• “tom gabby cock”
• “squirting orgasm filetype pdf”
• “he pulled my jockeys down to reveal my 13 year old cock”
• “ikizler erkeği kızarsa nasıl davranır” – which Google translates to mean “Although the twins flushed and how men behave.” (No, I didn’t understand it either)
• “oh god yes she moaned as the priest licked her” (sounds like a hell of a confessional to me)
• “oh yes oh yes fuckme filetype pdf”
• “my wife sighed as his cock went up her arse” (well, she would, I suppose. That or scream)

All I can say is that there appears to be some very odd people in the world.